Sunday, April 12, 2015

Not wanted at my own home?

I always wondered if whatever happened with me in my life has been a nightmare all along… because emerging out of that pain makes me feel like a phoenix! For someone who is just 17 years old, I have been through a lot in my life. I take care of myself for as long as I can remember. It feels like I have been nurturing myself on my own because my family never seemed to look after me. For them, perhaps, I was always a non-existent entity.

My dad treated me bad right from when I was only a baby. I felt as if I could never reach up to his expectations; as if I was never good enough for him. Everything I did was always full of flaws. Even as a kid, I remember that he used to hit me and then challenge me to hit him. I thought he meant it and I would try to hit him back only to be beaten by him with double force. I was nothing more than a punching bag for him. He used to kick me hard if I didn’t do what I was told or did something wrong. So gradually, I learnt to go along with whatever he said, and to keep out of his way as much as I could.
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The worst thing was that my mother never told him to stop. She would instead yell at me and acted like I deserved that pain. I started to believe that everything was my fault. When I was about 13, I started drinking heavily to escape the vehement thoughts. I bunked my classes just about every day, until the school told my parents about my attendance. Seeing the opportunity, my dad bashed me up and beat the hell out of me.

I began hating school because I always ended up in trouble for having fights with other kids. The teachers also disliked me. At home, the situation was no good. I felt lonely even when my parents were in the house because they ignored me. The only occasion they acknowledged my presence was when they need to vent out their anger. I was terrified in my own house. As a result, I used to stay over at a friend’s place, and sometimes I would sleep out on a park’s bench. The more I stayed away, the more scared I was of going back home because I knew I would get scolded and beaten hard for running away. I started staying outdoors for days together. It felt better than going home.
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After a while I enrolled myself in an orphanage and they took me in refuge immediately on hearing my story. People here are so generous and genuinely care. I have a big family here. I play with other kids and my bruises are finally healing too. That one step of escaping the house changed my life for better. I study and do a part time work for money. I am sure that with my savings and their help, I will at last, have a future.

- The Boy who remained undeterred



  1. Replies
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